Life’s a marathon

2013 was the third year that I joined a run…the 10km run..
The first run I ever joined, was 3 years ago…
Then, I recalled I’ve asked myself time and again, what have I got myself into…
Then, most people were laughing at my stupidity, or my ability to over-estimate myself…

Yet, since then, I’ve joined another 2 runs…
A yearly affair, but this year, as I was running, it occurred to me, that the run, is just like life..

At the very beginning, we were all geared up, all excited to go..
In life, when we were younger, we were all excited about first day of school, then college, and then uni.
Thereafter, we get so sick of studying, we couldn’t wait until we get into the work force and be financially independent…
We get excited with a promotion, and some, the move out of the house, the beginning of a relationship, the wedding, etc…

At the start, we run with everyone..
In life, we started pre-school, primary school, secondary school…we made friends easily, everyone gets along considerably well, we study, play, hang out with our classmates, with our schoolmates..
When we first joined the workforce, we joined as a batch, with all the other fresh off the boats uni grads..

And slowly, people get further apart, the faster runners sped ahead, the slower runners get left behind..
In life, as we grow older, people grow apart…be it a change in circumstances, change in way of life, or the different choices we made in life…
Sometimes, we get left behind, and at other times, we leave others behind…

There will always be times where we would be running, all alone…and other times, joined by a few others..
In life, there are, for most of us, some parts of life that we walked alone..
The deepest secret, some experiences, some feelings…
For some, there were times we felt alone, even in the crowds..
For others, battling a demon inside; be it depression, stress, or other emotional pain that we felt we couldn’t express out…
At other times, we make some acquaintances, some friends, some lovers…
Most would come and go, a few that stays…

Some uphill run which seems impossible, some downhill route that’s a breeze..
In life, sometimes, things are very smooth sailing – a good career, promotion, bonus, relationship that just works, a supportive family, friends all around…
Yet, other times, we wonder if there is ever light at the end of the tunnel..We fall and fall, and as we thought we’ve hit the rock bottom, it turned out to be quicksand, falling further, faster – A time where nothing works. And most often, these are the times we felt most alone..

Sometimes, we planned, imagined, and practise the run in our head, but God has other plans; a twisted ankle, a knee that decided to give up before you do, rain and wind…
In life, we would plan for a lot, and for some, planned very far ahead…but over a night, with one phone call, in a snap of finger, we could find ourselves looking at our grand plan crumbling…
We could plan for our entire life, but who is to tell that we have 60 years, or 70 years of life?

Yet, ultimately, with resilience, perseverance, the right attitude, and belief, we would eventually reach the finishing line…still running…or walking…or limping…
I’ve had my share of easy flat surface, and downhill run, my share of good times..
2013, has been more uphill for me…at times wondering if there would ever be light at the end of the tunnel..
With every year, I trained a lil more, the run gets a lil easier…yet, every year, I’ve come to realised that my time never really improves. I’m amazed at myself at how consistent my time has been…albeit in a disappointing way because I can’t see the improvements I wished for.
Yet, I’ve learned that although my time may not be improving, it gets easier to run. Less aching during and after, less huffing and puffing during.
I’ve also learned that as much as it’s a physical run, it’s more of a mental game. To finish the race, we must be mentally prepared.

Some runners were as fast as lightning at the start, yet, they’d finish on a stretcher.
Some would give up halfway, for things got too difficult, the injuries were too much to bear, the aches and pain too much to take..
Some others were slow and steady, and although may be the last few to finish the race, they’d finish.

Sometimes, we do not realise how close we are to the finish line when we decided to give up.
Sometimes, we do not realise how close we are to the end of the tunnel when we cave in to the darkness.

Life, is not a sprint. Life, is a marathon.
I came across this video in Ted Talk, which has a rather interesting perspective of what drives success.

That at the end of the day, it’s not about talent, it’s not about how smart we are…
Neither about how gifted, nor how confident…
It’s about perseverance, persevere when things take a turn for the worse, persevere when success seems the most unlikely result…
It’s about an undying passion, for long term…

You ran the marathon..
Notwithstanding the injuries, irregardless of the rain and storm, in spite of the pain..
you finished..
And for that, I am truly proud of you..

As for me, I ran just another 10km.
But the run was liberating..
I now understand some things which I struggled to fathom..
“Life is like a topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine, and valleys of frustration and failure”..
Calvin

 

2013, in Summary

It has been a practice of mine to try to sum up a year that has just passed. 
Whether they were the best of times, or the worst of times.
2013, for me, has its ups and downs…and I would like to think, I grew with these experiences.

January – The Move
After living for almost a year like a nomad (Well, not exactly..just a couple of temporary places), nearly going crazy every weekend, inspecting more than 20 different places, a decent place was finally found, and secured.
Then came the madness of furniture purchase, the packing and unpacking, the clean ups, and assembling of various furnitures, and the move.
But finally, a place that I know wouldn’t be only for a few months.
A lil more settled, after nearly a year…

February – The Celebrations
The month of February marks a year since I came down under.
A year of uncertainties, a year of change.
It’s also the month where we celebrate Chinese New Year.
My first long holiday and celebration with family, since I started work (And under employment).
2012 was my first year of long CNY holidays, but that was because I was in the transition period, and was unemployed.
As it turns out, this will also go into history as the last Chinese New Year celebrated with you…
I remember, how you had trouble walking, and would hardly get out of the house, and yet after much persuasion, you came out for dinner, the night before my flight back to Melbourne.
And that night, I took what turned out to be our last picture together….

April – The Beginning
For those who know me. would’ve realised long ago that I’m a lazy person.
I will do what needs to be done in the most efficient manner so that I can laze.
*Then again, for those who hardly knows me would probably have figured it out from my blog address anyway..
And because I’m not fat (Thank god), I didn’t really have much need to do anything to “lose weight” or “maintain my weight”..
After years of bare minimal exercise, I know that something needs to change.
I am, unfortunately, getting older, and without any exercise, I can foresee where my health is heading…south.
So, I started doing something…Golf.
Most would have already burst out laughing by now, thinking…”WTF? That’s not exactly what comes to mind when one says exercise!”
I’m a realist. I can’t change overnight from being a couch potato to a health freak that goes to gym every other day..
I’ve tried that route, and it failed…terribly…
So what’s better than going to the driving range and hit a few balls? Not too strenuous, and I can still justify it is a form of exercise!
The first 2 few outings to the driving range was…well…not great. But that’s another post for another day.
More importantly, I took the first step..baby steps, but a step nonetheless for a healthier lifestyle.

Apr-May – The Work Trip
Parents also came over for holidays in April – May period.
Dad, worried about his precious doggies, stayed for 2 weeks, as otherwise “the doggies will miss me too much…”- Dad.
Mom, on the other hand, stayed for a month, and coincided with my business trip to Sydney..
So naturally, she came with me.
While I worked on the weekdays, she walked around and explore by herself.
What’s impressive? She managed to not take a bus/ train/ taxi the 2 days while she was exploring by herself, until she found out about the free shuttle bus!
What’s funny? She walked so much, and took so many wrong turns trying to get back to the hotel, that she got blisters by the 3rd day…
Still, I’m amazed at how much walking my mom is capable of.

June – The anniversary
My one year at work anniversary, that is.
It’s tradition in the firm that everyone gets a “birthday” card on their anniversary with the firm.
And oh, 2 free movie tickets too!

July – The free fall
A month that started off to be the beginning of my busy season for the year,
a month that has more downs than ups,
the month filled with grief, sorrow, and heartbreak.
A final farewell, a last good-bye.
We all knew you were hospitalised. What we didn’t know, was how severe your condition was.
Everyone went on with their ever busy schedule…until sis got a friend to check on you..
The last minute purchase of flight tickets, the even more last minute change of fight tickets…
The long flight home, the meeting the night I touched down, the pain on your face, the peaceful look you had the next morning as you slipped into coma..
The finger movement when we spoke to you, the toes movement when the fingers could no longer respond, our worried face as your warm hands slowly turning cold…
The lil whispers by your ears, the confession on the things we did when we were young..
That phone ringing at 3am, the dreaded news, the rush to the hospital, the wake, the final goodbye, the pain of losing a loved one..
Mentally, emotionally, it was a free fall..
You’ve showed me that it’s a matter of Mind over matter, and the power of will power when you held on, to keep to your words, that you’ll wait for us to get home…
And when I felt the most despair, when I felt hopeless, when I didn’t know how to face the truth, you showed me the way..again…
That without the rain, there would be no rainbow.

When I felt most vulnerable, you showed me hope…A double rainbow.
Not once, not twice, but 3 times within 3 months…

August – September: The pick up
Picking up where I left off.
Picking myself up…
Picking the memories of us, during the younger days, during the holidays, during out catch ups…
Remembering the better days, remembering what you taught me…
And picking up golf again…with beginners’ lessons.
I started running again as well, in preparation of the 10km run…
And the rest, went by in a daze…

October – The run
My second consecutive year of joining the Melbourne Medibank Marathon – 10km run.
By this time, I could actually feel my fitness level has gone up, not quite fit, but I know I’m doing better than I was a year ago..
I could run further, run longer without feeling I was about to drop dead.
Finished the race without feeling like my body’s gonna break apart the next day, and that’s significant improvement for me.

“Do not be afraid of going slow, as long as you are still going…”

I might not be there, but one day, I will be…

November – The wedding
When I was in Malaysia, especially in my final few years, I have attended, on average, 2 weddings each month…
Everyone was getting hitched, and weddings just became a monthly/ bi-monthly affair.
However, since I came to Melbourne, things have quieten down a fair bit..
A rather simple affair…
But it was a celebration, a union of 2 person, in love, making a legal vow to stay by each other’s side, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…
And that, was all that matters…

December – Japan
A trip to the land of rising sun…
Japan as Japan is, peculiar, weird, and everything funny.
A country that operates at very high efficiency,
A country that is part of Asia, yet feels like it’s another world out there…
While most raved about how great Tokyo is, how fantastic the shopping is, it would probably not go down my memory as the most memorable part of the trip.
I recalled not the shopping areas, not how wonderful the sushis were, not how efficient they operate…
I recall,
On the first day when I touched down, tired after the full day flight, wet from the rain, and frustrated from going in circles, lost, a very kind man walked with me, shared with me his umbrella, to find a hotel even he doesn’t know where at..for nearly 30 minutes..my faith in humanity – restored.
I recall,
On Christmas eve, we went up to Koyasan, covered in snow..my first white Christmas…
The walk at the cemetery, to a temple, was one of the more peaceful walk I took..
The trees which were hundreds of years old, the pathway, the tombstones, covered in snow..the falling snow…

I felt a sense of calmness and peacefulness I have not felt for a while..

2013.
Not the best of years..
But definitely a year that will go down history as one to be remembered..
Not necessarily for the better…
I guess, sometimes, it is these life changing events that shape a person..
I guess, sometimes, it is these unhappiness, that make us appreciate things in life..
I guess, sometimes, it is these trials that defined our lives…

The heart has a mind..

…that the brain does not know of..

It has been more than 2 months since you left, and things have never been quite the same..
A rough patch of life, where things seem to fall apart more than it seems to fall together.
The day after my flight back to Melbourne, when I was feeling unwell, hopeless, and helpless,
I saw a double rainbow…a good sign, a sign of hope…
For rainbow could only appear after the rain..
I wondered if you were watching over me…giving me the strength…

For most of my life, I’ve been a considerably strong person. One that is capable of taking good care of myself, put my thoughts forward, stand for myself, by myself.
And due to that very fact, I’ve held my head high, taking on challenges head on..
Yet, sometimes, we get reminded, that we are only human.
And for that, there will be times where we would be down at our knees, seeking for a way out of the misery.

I couldn’t help but realise, that I’ve been a shadow of myself.
In those days, no matter how the odds were stacked against one, I’d challenged it – Do your worst, and you’ll see the best of me.
No matter the stress, the pressure, faced head on, tackled head on.
Yet, I’ve been running…only to find I couldn’t hide..
I’ve refused to shed any more tears for your passing, refused to face certain issues which have been bothering me…
Refused to think, refused to address…
Avoiding when possible, running away if need be..

Yet, life has a funny way to deal with people…
The more one turns away, the more it haunts one down…
The more one runs away, the more powerful it becomes…
It gains its grip over the person so subtly, that the person was not aware that the burden has grown increasingly heavy
As much as one can run, one can’t hide.
As much as the brain can be rational, the heart is breaking down..
While thinking that time heals, and time will show, unexpectedly, one gets hit..hard..
The world around the person goes into a whirlwind, downhill, with no end in sight..

For the past months, I’ve been running…
Refusing to address the issue, refusing to face the facts, refusing to accept reality..
Hoping that it will go away, that normalcy will return..
After all, what else can I ask for?
A professional, steady career, decent pay, a roof on top of my head, a car to drive, some money in the bank, a relationship, out of the country to greener pasture…
Yet, sometimes, none of the above, not even all the above, guarantees happiness, and peace of mind.

All the issues being brushed aside coming back to haunt the mind,
the burden gets heavier as days go by.
So much so, that all we want, is to give in, and give up…

There comes a time where we need to stop running, stop hiding…
There comes a time where we need to decide, to take on the challenge, to take a conscious stand, to stand, and to fight.
For irregardless of the result, it is better off that we fought a battle with all we have and lose, than never to have fought at all and admit defeat.

Today, on my way home, I saw another double rainbow…
During my darker times…you gave me hope…
I knew then…that I would now have the courage to face all that I should have faced months ago.
That my time, to fight the war, is now.
That although I may lose this battle, I will win the war…
Because you’re watching over me from above…
Because you taught me, even at the very last moment of your life, “When there’s a will, there’s a way”…
You’ve fought your battles gracefully, it is about time I fight mine…

I remember

My lil abandoned place…
A place where thoughts, perspectives, happenings get penned down.
A place where I reminiscence, a place to express myself, a place for me to remember…
Because we are only human.
Over time, we forget…Over time, we change…
And reading back my own posts, I could see the change in myself..driven by maturity, driven by circumstances, for better, or for worse.

Yet, some things, stay in our memory for longer..
Some memories, don’t fade over time…
Some memories, become lessons in life, and shapes the person we are.

I remember..
I remember those were the days…
I remember how you would go up the school bus with me to kindergarden.
And how you used to tell me, years later, how you’d tell the school bus driver to “scold” you and not let you into the bus, so that I could learn to be more independent, and actually go to school by myself..
The early mornings when you’d wake up the ever-so-grumpy me to catch the school bus even before 6am in the morning, and you’d wait with me for the bus..
The late nights when you would stood outside the house, worrying, wondering if all is well, when it took me nearly an hour longer to get home because the new bus driver drove like a tortoise.

I remember…
I remember the days where you’d cook us clams, and we’d have a “picnic” at the car porch, with an umbrella, and have our lunch with the scorching heat…
The nights where we’d play camping with the blanket and the double decker bed,
I remember the stories you told us when we couldn’t sleep at night…
Both the funny – The mice and the rice warehouse, and the heart wrenching – the days of World War 2 and the Japanese Occupation.
I’ll always remember the days in Cheras, the time when you bought me a pair of chicks just because I commented they looked oh-so-cute on tv…my first ever pet.
When one of the chicks died, the devastation I felt…and how I refused to eat chicken for the entire week…

I remember…
Your happy face when I was back during Chinese New Year, the reunion dinner, the second day big lunch, the yee sang..
I remember driving over to where you are every morning, spending the time with family…
And the fact that you still went out for dinner the night before I leave for Melbourne, although you were considerably weak, and have not left the house for a bit due to that..
The effort you made, your laughter at my lame jokes that night…

I remember…
The pain in your face and expression when I visited the night I touched down…
The very face that turned so peaceful the next morning, as you slip into unconsciousness..
I remember the stories we’d share with you, laughing, crying, by your bed side…
How your feet and hands slowly turned cold as the day passes…finally leaving us for good that very night…
I’d never forget how you persevered, to keep to your word, that you’d wait for us to return…
How you held on, despite the fact that the body has failed you, with just your willpower.
That until the very last moment of your life, you taught, by example, the final lesson in life:
When there’s a will, there’s a way…

You’ve worked hard, been through so much, enjoyed too little…
I hope you’ve now gone to a better place,
Where you’d get to reap what you sow…
I still do miss you..lots…
But I remind myself, everytime, that your journey, while full of challenges, you’ve emerged, against the odds, victorious.
That it should be a celebration of the life you had, the lives you’ve shaped and changed…rather than mourn for your passing…
I will remember…but until then, allow me to be weak, and shed my tears for what I would never be able to hold, to see, to talk to…just a lil more…
One day, when I’m ready, I’ll let go…

Home…

Home…
There’s always a saying that home is where the heart is.

It’s been a year, and by chance, by fate, or by luck, the day which marks the year, was also the day I actually headed back…

Some things have changed a fair bit…

Scene 1
Me: Ooooo…is that Paradigm Mall? It’s completed~!
Mom: Open for a while dy laaaa…
Me: (*.*) Wow….
Mom: I’ll bring you there one day…
Me:…aiseh..you mean, I drive YOU there

Scene 2
Me: Eh…how come like that one?? I wanna go left~! Why it’s blocked?
Friend: Err….it’s been a while since they changed the road…
Me: (o.O) *Horror face* Nooooooooooo….
Friend: Told ya to turn left earlier you didn’t wanna listen..
Me: ….boooo~! So how now, brown cow?

Scene 3
Friend: Are you here yet? Where would you like to meet up?
Me: Yeah..here…but… *looks left, looks right*…I dunno where am I…
Friend: (-.-)” Aiseh…you so jakun~! hehehe..I come over. Let me know what shops you can see around you..
Me: (o.O)….(T.T)…okok…

Some things, unfortunately, never change…

Heading off to Aunt’s
Me: Wah sai..why so jam one~! It’s not even peak hours leh…
Dad: Here 24/7 also jam one la…
Me:…it wasn’t this bad when I left ma…. (~.~)

Chinese New Year eve at Aunt’s place
Aunt: Eh..all of you..be careful when you get up/down the car yeah…the neighbour next door was robbed yesterday, afternoon, right in front of the house.. Just outside *points out*
Me: Eeeeekkksssss…isn’t this place gated and guarded??
Aunt: *shrugs* That one for show only…
Me: (=.=)”

During dinner with friends..
Friend: !#$@% la. Look at this *Shows scratch*..
Everyone: What happened??
Friend: Was heading home one day, when some fella on motorcycle came smashing my car window at the traffic lights..

A nation that once had so much to offer, so much opportunities..
A country that has so much natural resources…
A nationality, which I have no qualms telling others, and no shame admitting…
A culture, which I generally consider unique, from the food, to the “modified” spoken English language..
A place I once called home…

It’s scary, yet, more importantly, it’s sad. It’s really, really sad.
Sad at how things have turned out, for the worse, over the years..
Sad that such beautiful place, such nice country, is now marred by all these…
Sad that I couldn’t even feel safe at my own home..
Sad, that every night that I drove alone, I was really scared, for my belongings, for my safety, for my life..

As I departed for “home”, I was excited.
Excited to be seeing the family.
Excited to be seeing my friends..
Happy that I could celebrate CNY with the people dearest to me, meeting old friends, and eat good, cheap, yummy food..

2 weeks later, as I got ready to leave, I asked myself a question…
A question, that I don’t seem to have an answer to..
…I wasn’t as sure if I’m leaving home, or I’m leaving for home…

2012, in summary

A year that possibly marks the close of one chapter of life.
A year that possibly, has the least going on.
A year of much significance, much meaning, yet, also a year that really, has been considerably bland.
A year that started off with a bang, a resignation, a break, and a pack of the bags. A move down under, which, for the better, or worse, only time will tell…only god knows.
A year thats of much struggle, in most aspects…
A year that has tested me, pushed me to my limits…
A year that I realised I really am not as strong as I thought, I really am not as free as I would like, that I really, am like any others, only human.
A year of much new experiences, yet a year of much challenges.A year of vulnerabilities, a year of helplessness, a year of change.
A year of learning, and understanding that perhaps, life really has been easy on me.Life has been kind, and I have really been fortunate, sheltered from the storms, and the rain.

I would like to give a month to month run down as I have been doing for the past years, only to realise it it anything but possible.
For nothing concrete has been taking place…
Yet, it has been a year of emotional development
Of expectations, of frustration, of hope, of despair, of love and life, of heartbreak…
None of which I could tell with certainty, when or how or where they took place…

Overall, this has been a tough, and challenging year
And that was possibly the reason for the lack of updates…for there were times that as much as I seek for solace, for peace within, for happiness, I couldn’t find any….

Familiarity becomes a strange phenomena, as compared to it being a norm…

I’ve learned much, not quite in a way most perceived, but it has been a year of discovery, on my emotional self…
As the year draw to a close, I hope for a better year ahead.
All the same time, I’m thankful for having experienced more, gained a lil, and hopefully, grew..
Well, not growing old (which unfortunately happens to all), but growing up.
And as we enter into the new year, after a year where some believed to be the end of the world, I truly hope, 2013 would be a new beginning, with a stronger, more compassionate me…

The next chapter…of life.

You step into the plane, with a one way ticket.
The heart pounding, excited with what’s ahead, yet so afraid of the unknown.
They said “You don’t have to see the whole ladder. Just take the first step, in faith”
You took that step, and yet, couldn’t help but wonder, if that was one step to the right direction.
After all, all your life, you’ve made carefully calculated move. A move that you were almost certain to be the right move.
However, for this one time, you have your doubts.
Sure things weren’t the most rosy here, with all the ups and downs, yet, everytime you fell, your family has always been there, to be your pillar of support.
Even as life was a roller coaster, there will be people you could fall back on.
Yet, you’ve decided to make the move…praying for the best, while expecting the worst.

You boarded the flight, and while looking back at one last time, you told yourself “There’s no turning back now..”
And the next chapter of life begins…
With you waking up the next morning thinking “Where the hell am I?” for somehow, you dreamt you were home…

Everyone told you how lucky you are, to be able to start the afresh, in the greener pastures, all the support you will have, how things would be a walk in the park…
Yet, deep down, all you could tell yourself is “God will not close all the doors without opening a window for me”….
Because you’ve seen it happening…you could foresee it happening…
You sensed it, but had no choice but to ignore it, hoping for the best…

Days turn to weeks, to months….
And you began to question if you truly made a wrong move, for once…
That the calculation was…indeed…wrong…
Only that, the worse is yet to come..

While the calculation could have been wrong on one side, the maths were almost spot-on on the other.
Unfortunately…it was the “other” that you hoped you got wrong..
The only mistake that you made?…The timing…

Your world began to crumble, your ego hit time and again, your efforts – unrecognised, your support system showing signs of breakdown…and subsequently, hell broke loose..
Your worst fear became reality…
You contemplated about the whole thing, you contemplated about ending it all…
You wondered if that leap of faith failed you..
You wondered if hope has abandoned you…
You wondered if that window was really opened…
You wondered….

Yet, you have no idea why you are not letting go..
You have no idea why you are not giving up…
When facts and circumstances has pushed you to the corner…

Perhaps, you were too stubborn to admit defeat…
Perhaps the ego wouldn’t let you..
Perhaps, you were too stubborn to give up…
Perhaps, you just believed that it will work out…eventually…
And with that blind believe which is totally unsubstantiated, where the maths doesn’t add up, where the facts showed otherwise, you persevered.

Success isn’t final, failure isn’t fatal, it’s the courage to go on that counts

Sir Winston Churchill

With that, you march on.
Thankful…for it is when you are down and out, you see the worst of a person.
Regrettable, for you’ve hoped that you were wrong in the latter equation, you’ve hoped that history was not of the norm…
Grateful…for now, you know, he saw the worst of you…and things could only get better from now..
Learned…that if things don’t work out one way, change the approach, and try again…
Believe…even if you can’t substantiate or logically deduce the believe
Hope…even when there seems to be nothing left…
Determined…that if you fall, even time and again, you’d stand back up, stronger..and one day, you will prove those who doubted, those who questioned, those who criticised, that you could rise…
And you would…

After all, when you have hit the rock bottom, the only way to go is up…
Things will slowly, but surely, fall into place…
You will emerge, a stronger, better person.
And this, is just the beginning of a new chapter in life..

2011, in Summary

January – The Peak of all peaks
The year started like any other normal year – the peak period. The only thing I didn’t foreseen then, was prolly just the fact that this could be the hardest, and possibly longest peak I would ever had. The new regulations, the new disclosures, the lack of resources, the new software.
It was challenging…that goes without saying..
One good news, and I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

February – The missing member
The family had a scare, when Bailey went missing on one fine day, and we knew something must have gone wrong when she didn’t return by dinnertime.
Luckily for us, fate was rather kind to us, and dad found her a couple of days later, “kidnapped” by some random people in the neighbourhood, whom didn’t have the guts to come out of the house when dad went knocking on the door upon seeing Bailey at the porch.

April – The extraordinaries
Extraordinary 1: I was invited to go to watch F1, live, in Sepang by a friend of mine. Honestly, as much as I follow the sport, I have never been to the watch it ‘live’. The experience, was pretty amazing, seeing those cars from so so near. Unfortunately for me, it was a relatively accident free race, and drama free too.. sigh..the disappointment
Extraordinary 2: The tickets were also valid for Rain Bi’s concert at Sepang, which took place after the race. And so, we went there…only to realise that there were no seats. Stand and watch kinda concert, which didn’t appeal to us very much. So, we walked around, took our goodies (a Rain concert tee), and got ourselves some drinks, and we left. Before the concert even started. Didn’t even bother to see how good he looks in person.
Extraordinary 3: We were subsequently stuck in massively horrendous jam for 3+ hours..from Sepang to KL. Epic jam.
Extraordinary 4: 2 weeks later, I actually went back to the F1 Sepang Circuit paddock, but this time, for a marathon. Yes. Me, running. 11km. Unbelievable? Believe it! And I actually completed the race (Surprise!), within the qualifying time (Surprise Surprise!)
Extraordinary 5: After so long, I’m no longer single. We officially started.

May – The break
After what seems like infinity, I finally took one week off work, for a family trip to Hanoi, Vietnam.
A much needed break, except that I somehow ended up having to wake up earlier than when I had to head to work. Tour Agents..tsk tsk. They really maximise everything!
And oh, it was also one helluva holiday. On the final day (luckily, the day we were flying home), all 3 of us had minor food poisoning.
(>.<)
It was also a time of frustration, because honestly, I felt victimised. First, the half year promotion was abolished, and unfortunately, I was one of the affected one. I take that as normal change that the company takes. Now, there's such thing called "exception" promotion? Perhaps, that was an indication enough.
And it also turns out, that Bailey was perhaps, fated to leave us when the time comes…as she went missing again…and was never found….

June – The insanity
One fine Friday, I decided that it is time to catch up with a friend which I have not seen since another’s friend’s wedding earlier in the year. So, I asked her out for a meal.
And then we decided to go for a movie. Upon checking out what’s showing, I realised I really have not been watching any movies, except 1 in the year. And there really are a number of movies I’d like to watch. A suggestion to catch 2 movies, out of jest, turned out to a pretty good idea with my friend.
But then, a lil later, we took it one step further. Make that 3.
And so, we had a movie marathon. Fast 5 at 11am, X-Men first class at 2.45pm, and then KungFu Panda 2 at 7pm.
And that, broke both my friend’s and my own record of most movies watched in a day, in the cinema.
It was also the month where my annual diving trip took place. This time, to one of the most beautiful dive site in the world – Sipadan.
I was in awe…seriously. Not by the school of barracudas, not by the gigantic turtles, not even by the leopard shark. But rather, at my inability to actually swim forward when the undercurrent was strong.
It was so bad, that despite me putting in all my energy, I was actually moving backwards~!
Then, my buddy came to my rescue, and pushed me..and after another 10 secs of swimming…we were still at the same spot~!! (T.T)
Luckily, yet another friend came to my rescue, and I was finally able to move forward, and hung on to some rocks, which is why I’m still here, alive, blogging. *pats the faithful rock*
An experience alright!

July – The challenge
A month that was full of the expected…and the unexpected.
The expected – I finally got my promotion…the delayed promotion at the end of July. I’ve finally obtained what I promised myself to achieve.
Strangely, it didn’t bring that much happiness to me than I thought it would…
A realisation perhaps, that I’ve been searching at the wrong place for peace, and happiness.
The unexpected – The Company actually nominated me for TRYLA (Tun Razak Youth Leadership Award [Programme]).
The unexpected x2 – I actually got in. A week of surprises, a week of doing a lot of things that I wouldn’t have done otherwise..some, I would never had the opportunity to.
A week of torture, a week of fun, a week of learning. I’ve truly learnt a lot. About perseverance. About perspective. About empathy. About understanding.
One of the probably more unforgettable event was the visit to Juvenile prison, as well as the Women prison.
It was eye opening, really.

August – The hole in the pocket
It seems like my wallet knew I got a promotion, and decided that it’s high time to spend.
My iMac died a premature death…barely one year odd….fortunately, I managed to back-up the most important information into my external harddisk.
Unfortunately, everything else…were gone.
And so, I got myself a new MacBook Pro instead, my first personal laptop..(I’ve always been a desktop person..don’t ask me why)
Went for a full body medical checkup as well, just to ensure everything is still working alright.
Surprisingly, besides the fact that I’m extremely underweight, everything is fine. No high cholesterol, no high blood pressure.

September – The quiet month
The most interesting thing that happened for the month? The 1 week Challenges of Management course. The reason – It was one of the more “fun” course, and part of it was in Penang~!

October – The happenings
While September was a quiet month, Oct was the other extreme. It even started with a bang.
The month started with me..being sick…So sick that I took the longest medical leave I have ever taken, in my life!
Somehow, I was down with a fever and sorethroat, that didn’t seem like going away…for 4 days.
And just as I was recovering, I was hit…again…Bigger..unfortunately not better.
The following week after I recover from fever, I developed a pain…stomach ache…abdominal pain..I don’t know what. The next thing I know, I was hospitalized, and had a surgery, for appendicitis.
That knocked me out for 2 weeks from work…
The silver lining: Luckily all that happened before my long leave, my holiday.
Followed by the trip to Melbourne for my sis’ wedding.
My one and only sis…
This also happened to be the month where the decision was made..and executed.

November – The multiple weddings
My sis’ Melbourne wedding took place on the 1st November 2011.
Then we came back, and another 2 weddings on the 5th November weekend.
Followed by another friend’s wedding on 11th November (Which I didn’t attend), my sis’ KL reception on 12th November, yet another friend’s wedding on 13th November.
And finally, my college mate’s wedding on the 19th November.
I just declared bankruptcy.

December – The break
For the first time during my stint with the current employer, I got a long break in December.
All previous years were spent working my heads off in the small town of Seremban, till the wee hours in the morning, rushing for deliverables…and only getting a few off from Christmas’ onwards.
A nice change.
As much as I was off work, though, I was actually rather busy.
Headed to Phuket, and had a few relaxing days there…not to mention, eye opening, as Patong beach, is, without a doubt, a separate world altogether.
Came back, and the very next day, went for the Handgun Shooting Course I bought off Groupon.
Apparently, I’m a pretty sharp shooter! Woots! Should the handgun be built smaller (due to my small hands), my shots could’ve been even more accurate, according to the facilitator~! *flexes non-existent muscles*
It was a rather interesting experience overall, for I thought I would have much difficulty holding the handgun in place, especially with the force from firing…but it turns out, I did alright.
The facilitator even went on to say that many people thinks that shooting is a game of strength. But it really is a mental game. A game of focus.
Headed to Penang for the 3rd time this quarter alone. A trip full of food, food and more food…what else? Food…
At the end of it, I’m not sure if I really had much of a break…mentally, physically, or even spiritually..

A rather challenging year, in more aspects than one, in both personal and professional front.
It has, nonetheless, been an exciting year, with ups and downs, tears and laughter, achievements, and disappointments.
I’ve learnt, and hopefully, grew. Not just a year older, but a year wiser.
And shall now welcome 2012, a year..of change…

The Speech

Just wanted to pen down the speech by the maid of honour, yours truly.

The brain is a wonderful thing. It never stops working from the time you are born, until the moment you are about to start to make a speech.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Yin Fun, and I’ve known Mei my whole life, and most of hers.
There was a saying, that blood is thicker than water, and so, when Mei asked me to be the maid of honor, and give a speech, I felt delighted, and scared, all the same, for I’ve never been much of a public speaker…but because I’m her only sister, I couldn’t even turn her down~!
As a result, I’m standing here, in front of you….terrified~!

Before I begin, Mei, will you please place your left hand on the table. Jon, will you please place your right hand on top of hers.

I never knew Jon before he dated my sister, so I can’t tell you horrible stories about him, but I can tell you that I think he fits my sister, perfectly. He’s easy going, soft-spoken guy…who ermm..loves golf. Truth be told, I dare not say I know him very well…and if any of you wondered how did I conclude that he fits my sister, perfectly, it’s the way he looks at her, and the way she speaks of him.

Mei, you look spectacular today, and I would like to thank you for giving me the true meaning of the word sister….or so I think, since I do not have another sister to make comparison with.

As children, Mei and I were pretty much inseparable. We fought over every tiny thing, including who gets to sit in the front seat of the car, every day, and more often than not, because we couldn’t reach an agreement, we’d both end up squeezing into the front seat~! That’s how inseparable we were!

As we grow up, we grew apart for a short while during our teenage years, but things quickly caught up when we headed here for our studies, and we actually grew closer in those years than we have ever been, sharing our ups and downs, cries and laughter.

I do have a lot of funny and embarrassing stories about her, but because today’s her special day, I would leave her alone now.

I’ve been thinking very hard about word of advice for the newlyweds, and could only come up with these:
Have a good sense of humor, have a very short memory- laugh at each other’s mistakes, forget the shortcomings – that’s the secret to a happy marriage.
If you’re clever, you’ll have the last say. If you’re very clever, you won’t use it.

This day ushers a new beginning of a wonderful phase of both my sis’, and Jon’s lives.

Separately, you are two special, remarkable people, but together you are complete. As you sit side by side through this roller coaster of life, remember to scream from the peaks, hold hands through the dips, laugh through the loops, and enjoy every twist and turn.
For the ride is much better when you share it together. Coming together is the beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.

And Jon, it is with great pleasure, that I have been able to give you the last 5 mins in which you’ll ever have the upper hand over Mei.

Please raise your glasses while I toast my sister, and her husband.
Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after. Cheers.

I’d have to admit that not everything that was said were originally from me.
So, credits to whoever that came out with them (I have no idea who)
But all that was said, were true, to my heart..and that’s all that matters.

Conclusion: I recall someone once told me “No matter how posh, how beautiful the wedding was, it’s only an event. Only for the day. Marriage, is everything that comes after. Both the ups, and downs. It wouldn’t be easy. It wouldn’t be just a bed of roses. But it could be rewarding”
And so, to my sis, and my new brother-in-law, I truly wish you a lifetime of happiness.

Series of unfortunate events

The final quarter of 2011 started with a bang for me. As a matter of fact, it started even before the quarter started.

After a course in Penang, and a friend’s hens night, I fell ill. Very ill. So bad that it broke all my previous record of the number of days I was off work, calling in sick.
I was down with high fever, sore throat, cold, flu, cough and everything else that one normally gets when they are unwell.
I was suspected of dengue, so, the doctor took my blood sample for testing.
Luckily for me, it wasn’t dengue.
Unluckily for me, the bacteria in me was not going without a fight. A tough one…which took me 4 days off work just to beat it…
And what was worse? My laptop decided that it’s high time to throw tantrum and refused to start up….means, I couldn’t even check my mails…

Thankfully, I was feeling a lot better on Day 4, so decided to proceed with one of the meeting in office, and still head for our Away Day in Pangkor the following day so that I won’t let my carpool mates down,. I was the designated driver…and before I knew it, my autogate decided it was a good time to break down the day before the trip.
It wouldn’t be a problem normally, as the smarty dad had another manual gate at the back of the garage~!…..except the old “I’m refusing to start” Wira was blocking the way…
So, I had to call off the meeting in the end, and called the repairman multiple times to ensure he comes to fix the gate on that day itself…

When the repairman finally came, the dogs were getting very excited…the result?
Strike 3:

Well, they say bad luck hits you in 3…so mine would have ended…
or so I hoped…unsuccessfully..

A rather “weird” stomachache last Tuesday night which continued throughout the night, and the pain that didn’t seem to go away despite me having taken painkillers, as well as food poisoning medicine was the start.
By Wednesday morning, I went to the clinic, where the doc gave me a jab (2nd jab within timespan of 2 weeks), Smecta (for air in the stomach), a gastric pain pill, and another pill for food poisoning.
By noon, I was still unwell, and being the scardy cat I am, began to worry. And so, I drove to the hospital with the referral letter in my hand to “check-out” what went wrong.
The next thing I know, I was asked to be admitted there and then, and I should get ready for operation.
Numerous needles poking ensued (ouchhh~!), and by Wednesday night, I had undergone the necessary surgery.
The next few days went by in a daze, with me vomiting most of the time due to the general anaesthetics which took forever to wear off, and possibly, my body reaction to the antibiotics (according to the doctor).
I wasn’t allowed any food until the vomiting stops, so, naturally, I was on clear liquid diet for the next few days…
And so, I ended up sleeping from day to night, to day…waking up only when I had visitors, to vomit, to take temperature, blood pressure, to change drips, and to use the washroom…
I had no idea I could sleep so much…
I was finally discharged on Sunday, but still very much recuperating from home this week: No jumping, No walking fast, No running, No driving, No Nothing..just…rest..

And to make matters worse? A friend aka colleague came to visit me in the hospital, and told me some of them had a good laugh at my series of unfortunate events…and the hospitalisation and operation had to be the season finale….
(T.T)”

The consolation: I thank god for it to be happening now, and not during my sis’ wedding period. I’m also grateful that I found out relatively early, and was pretty well taken care of by the nurses in Ward 4B of Sunway Medical Centre during my stay there…
Thank You for those whom came to visit, to those whom sent me msges wishing me well, to those who cared…