The next chapter…of life.

You step into the plane, with a one way ticket.
The heart pounding, excited with what’s ahead, yet so afraid of the unknown.
They said “You don’t have to see the whole ladder. Just take the first step, in faith”
You took that step, and yet, couldn’t help but wonder, if that was one step to the right direction.
After all, all your life, you’ve made carefully calculated move. A move that you were almost certain to be the right move.
However, for this one time, you have your doubts.
Sure things weren’t the most rosy here, with all the ups and downs, yet, everytime you fell, your family has always been there, to be your pillar of support.
Even as life was a roller coaster, there will be people you could fall back on.
Yet, you’ve decided to make the move…praying for the best, while expecting the worst.

You boarded the flight, and while looking back at one last time, you told yourself “There’s no turning back now..”
And the next chapter of life begins…
With you waking up the next morning thinking “Where the hell am I?” for somehow, you dreamt you were home…

Everyone told you how lucky you are, to be able to start the afresh, in the greener pastures, all the support you will have, how things would be a walk in the park…
Yet, deep down, all you could tell yourself is “God will not close all the doors without opening a window for me”….
Because you’ve seen it happening…you could foresee it happening…
You sensed it, but had no choice but to ignore it, hoping for the best…

Days turn to weeks, to months….
And you began to question if you truly made a wrong move, for once…
That the calculation was…indeed…wrong…
Only that, the worse is yet to come..

While the calculation could have been wrong on one side, the maths were almost spot-on on the other.
Unfortunately…it was the “other” that you hoped you got wrong..
The only mistake that you made?…The timing…

Your world began to crumble, your ego hit time and again, your efforts – unrecognised, your support system showing signs of breakdown…and subsequently, hell broke loose..
Your worst fear became reality…
You contemplated about the whole thing, you contemplated about ending it all…
You wondered if that leap of faith failed you..
You wondered if hope has abandoned you…
You wondered if that window was really opened…
You wondered….

Yet, you have no idea why you are not letting go..
You have no idea why you are not giving up…
When facts and circumstances has pushed you to the corner…

Perhaps, you were too stubborn to admit defeat…
Perhaps the ego wouldn’t let you..
Perhaps, you were too stubborn to give up…
Perhaps, you just believed that it will work out…eventually…
And with that blind believe which is totally unsubstantiated, where the maths doesn’t add up, where the facts showed otherwise, you persevered.

Success isn’t final, failure isn’t fatal, it’s the courage to go on that counts

Sir Winston Churchill

With that, you march on.
Thankful…for it is when you are down and out, you see the worst of a person.
Regrettable, for you’ve hoped that you were wrong in the latter equation, you’ve hoped that history was not of the norm…
Grateful…for now, you know, he saw the worst of you…and things could only get better from now..
Learned…that if things don’t work out one way, change the approach, and try again…
Believe…even if you can’t substantiate or logically deduce the believe
Hope…even when there seems to be nothing left…
Determined…that if you fall, even time and again, you’d stand back up, stronger..and one day, you will prove those who doubted, those who questioned, those who criticised, that you could rise…
And you would…

After all, when you have hit the rock bottom, the only way to go is up…
Things will slowly, but surely, fall into place…
You will emerge, a stronger, better person.
And this, is just the beginning of a new chapter in life..