The “C”s of a relationship

When we were younger, the criteria to find a good partner, and especially, boyfriend, is simple. One with cash, credit card, car, career, and condo.
If one meets the above criteria, he’s a good catch. A jackpot.
It’s really not uncommon to say “The boyfriend drives a Benz”, or “he’s an investment banker in [insert a bank’s name]”
After all, these are the things that many could easily see, and judge on.

But if anyone is to look for any relationship of more depth, one would know we should be looking for a lot of other attributes, but that..
Because even if the cash could get you a Chanel, it may not open a channel of communication.
Because even if the car could bring you places, it couldn’t teach on compassion
Because even if the partner has the best of career, it may, in exchange, loses the time to care.
Because one may has a house, but not a home.

It’s never difficult to get into a relationship.
In fact, when times are good, it’s not even a challenge to maintain one.
But life is not a bed of roses.

Relationships are about compromise.
It is about taking a step back, for the better good.
It is about knowing how to win an argument, how to have the last say, but not using it.
It is about not doing things your way, but instead, our way.

Relationships are about communication.
It is about sharing both ups and downs,
It is about not taking the other person for granted for knowing/ understanding, and actually communicate.
Even if the chips are down. Even if things aren’t looking fantastic.

Relationships are about commitment.
As much as we see some other couples who seems perfect, perhaps the fact is, no relationship is perfect.
And no matter how perfect it is, there would be times where it stumbles and falls.
There would be times where things hit a rough patch, things fall apart
And when things get tough, it’s easy to walk away..it’s easier to call it quits
It takes a lot of determination, and commitment, to work things out.
To make it work.

Yet, one other very important attribute, isn’t a “C”.
Trust.
Without trust, it doesn’t matter how hard one wants a relationship to work, it is doomed to fail.
Because without trust, all one does is suffocates the partner, and pushes him/her to the edge, an inch off insanity.
A friend once said to me, just ask yourself this. If you couldn’t trust him, if you are convinced your partner would wrong you, why are you even with the person?

There is no such thing as a perfect partner, or a perfect relationship.
The question is, are there enough from both to make it work?
The question is, could you find a person where you could tolerate his/ her imperfections?
One that you would think worth the time, worth the effort, worth the compromise, commit…

Conclusion: All the above are very logical, and rational. And one would tend to think, we all know this…
The issue is, when life crumbles, when things go bad, when judgment gets clouded, and emotions are a mess, when it’s so much easier to walk away, could we still practice what is preached?