What the f**k

It was a fine Friday…it’s my final day at work before my 4 weeks break for my CPA papers…Friends asked me out, but I’ve decided to be nice and eat with my mom..
After dinner, we have decided to go get mom a new mobile phone, since hers was stolen about a month back, when the house was broken into.

As we were in the mobile shop, looking at the different phones, 3 men armed with ‘parangs’ walked in. Yes, it was a robbery. How lucky…
Mom’s pendant, watch, mobile phone, and some cash were robbed. Me, on the other hand, lost a bit of cash, and my 3 bracelets…
No one was hurt, although my wrist is still a lil sore, due to the pressure placed when he snapped the bracelets off my hand.

Went to one police station to make report, and then another to give statement…by the time I reached home, it’s midnight…
I’m supposed to be heading for the bed now, but for some reason, I couldn’t sleep…

2nd incident, one month….some effing luck I’m having…
When I was in the second police station making my statement, there were another 2 cases there, at 11 at night…and it was only that particular police station. What bout the others?
When I could no longer feel safe being in my own neighborhood, when I could no longer feel safe even at home, where can I head to?

As optimistic as I would like to be, I’m losing hope… It truly makes me wonder, what pushed these ppl to do whatever they did…
What has become of the people? What has become of the country I live in? Has the break-ins, kidnapping, robbery, murder became a norm? Has it became part of us, part of the country I’m in?
It made me shiver…just to think about it…

On another random note, weird and sad…but true…
On my way to the police station, I had a mini accident.. a real small one, broke my rear lights…
I knew then I was losing my cool, I hate to admit it, but I’m shaken…
As I picked up my mobile (yes, it’s still with me), I realised I do not have the slightest idea on who to call…
I ended up not speaking to anyone, although I really wanted to…
*Perhaps it’s time for me to re-evaluate myself, on why do I have such sad life, with hardly any friends…*

Conclusion: When things are going down…it goes down all the way…it makes you wonder..if there really is such thing as silver lining…

You never lose by loving, you only lose by holding back

This was a quote I saw on one of my msn’s friend display name..
Perhaps my argument here would be by loving, does one also mean having, possessing?
Do I believe in love? Yes, in fact I do…

But loving and asking for being loved in return…may be a very different matter..
In most cases, when one falls in love, one wants to be loved in return, which is fair…
However, the problem stems from the idea of owning, having, possessing…

Having/possessing…or by being together with someone, we will, inevitably set expectations on what’s to be expected of the person we love…
When we start to hope, when we start to expect, it is also when we start to feel insecure, when jealousy creeps in, when we start to lie…
Sad but true..Fear cannot be without hope, nor hope without fear…
The more we hope, the more we fear of losing, the more protective we will be…without realising that by doing that, the other party is suffocating to stay afloat in the relationship…

And what bout the issue on respect?
After a while, we grew so comfortable with the person, that person became part of us…and we begin to forget the very fundamental thing..respect for each other life’s, respect for each other’s privacy, respect each other for being the individual he/she is..
We try so hard to change our partner to our liking, and at the same time, changing ourselves to fit in..
At the end of the day, what have we got to lose?
Perhaps more than what you would like, more than what you started with at the first place

When you care for someone, can you simply, truly care for them, without asking, without hoping for anything in return? Loving, yet not having?
When there’s no hope, there’s no expectations, there’s no broken promises, no jealousy, and of course, no broken hearts
Getting together doesn’t make it easier, does it?
Sometimes, just being there at times where he/she needed you the most, and graciously walks away when it’s time, knowing the person would be able to find someone better one day…and you’ll be…nothing less than a good memory of his/hers, isn;t this more of a win-win situation?
When you love someone, isn’t it about seeing the person happy?
Is holding back really losing?

For those who wondered, have I ever been in love? Yes, I had…
I even believe that one can fall in love with more than one person at the same time, and by simply loving, yet not possessing, one’s free to love everyone…

Conclusion: Sometimes… to win, is to lose…