Before dawn

Someone once said to me; The darkest hour is just before the dawn. But surely, dawn will come.

So much happened this week, I’m beginning to feel that, I too, had enough.
Yet, sometimes, we are stronger than we think.

In the eyes of some, I have everything that they ever wanted, I have all they ever needed.
Yet, in the eyes of others, I have nothing but a career, which seems as sad as sad can be.
I work long hours, I work after dinner, I work during weekends, and I even work on public holidays.
At times, even I couldn’t help but feel that my career is almost everything I have.

Yet, this week, I realise I still have a fair bit. For I still have a lot to lose.
Today, someone told me that she feels she has nothing left.
Tonight, I’ll tell you otherwise.

On Wednesday, my grandmother fell ill. Very ill. So ill that we had to call for an ambulance.
My only grandparent that’s left.
My one and only grandmother whom brought me up, and contributed in shaping me into who I am today.
My grandparent who sent me off to school every morning, cooked for me, and hell, even bought me a pair of chicks when I was young just because I saw the chicks on tv and commented they looked adorable.
My grandmother that doted on me, and I would like to believe she still does.
On Wednesday, it dawned on me that she’s no longer young.
It dawned on me that she could, and would, leave me one day.
That thought itself send chills down my spine.
I still have much to lose.

Today, I got another bad news. Things took a turn for the worse.
And when you shed tears as you told me what happened, my heart broke with yours.
I grew worried, and sad..and I realised,
I still have much to lose.

You said you have nothing left.
But you have us, you have me.
We may never be there forever, for, after all, who can ever, promises, a forever?
Yet, more importantly, we’re here, just a phone call away.
You still have much to lose.

You said you have no career.
Yet, every move you’re taking, you’re building up a brick solid foundation.
You have everything that’s needed for a high-flying career.
Don’t throw it all away now.
You still have much to lose.

More importantly, you’ve never realised how much some others wanted to be in your position.
You have the courage I never had. You have the courage to let the world knows what happened, you have the courage to be open to others, even when you are down and out.
And you had the courage to love, and be loved.
You have the confidence which I could only dream of.
You have the intelligence that some couldn’t possible fathom.
And no one, would ever, be able to take those away from you.

Things may seem bleak, but as the saying goes “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars”
Never let a moment of defeat destroy the joy of all the rest.
You are stronger than you think.

Have faith, that the dawn will come, the sun will rise, and things would turn for the better.
And it will.

p/s: Grandma fought the battle well, and won. She’s been discharged, and resting at home.