Norm, and acceptance

How many of us think that someone who doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t party till late, doesn’t practice open relationships, believes in sex after marriage, believes in marriage, believes in family values as obsolete?

A relatively simple question. Yet, the countless possibilities.
A series of events which took place recently brought me to ponder of it…
How far would we go to be with the norm, to fit in, to be accepted?

A topic proved too heavy for discussion with most of my friends, yet, a topic I have much interest on.

Most would start off, thinking that it’s a matter of choice, a matter of lifestyle.
Yet, many of us do believe that the person above, if still in existence, are the minorities, if not near extinction.

Surely, some take drugs, drink, smoke, by choice. It makes them happy.
A friend of mine went into great depth on life being too short to take it too seriously, that life should be enjoyed to the fullest, that we should do whatever that makes us happy.
Even if it may not be the better choice.
As long as the life we live, is a life full of excitement.

While another friend mentioned that it we don’t really lose a piece of meat if we do not follow the change.
There’s nothing wrong that some prefers to stay home on weekends, sleeping at 9pm, living a healthy lifestyle, staying loyal and committed in a single relationship, without sex.
Without a doubt.
Yet, we do follow the weirdest of things without truly questioning them, do we not?
After all, we conform when the society decided to take up a long piece of cloth, tie it around our neck, calls it a tie, and making that a formal wear.

I’ve never really seen myself as outdated, obsolete.
I read the news daily, I follow with the happenings around the world, I keep updated on the latest gadgets (or at least I try, with too many gadgets coming out too fast), I keep up (or try to) with the latest accounting standards for work related reasons, I adapt with changes, be it people, system, workplace, etc.
But at the end of the day, I couldn’t keep up with everything.
I missed out.
That consumption of recreational drugs is a norm.
That parties and outing till wee hours in the morning is a norm, drinking and smoking is a norm.
That open relationships, cheating partners are norm.
Surely, that’s a matter of choice of lifestyle?

Smoking is a choice.
Unfortunately, the person that got lung cancer as a result of 2nd hand smoke weren’t given the choice.
Drinking is a choice.
Regrettably, the person whose life was sacrificed as a result of drink driving, didn’t have that choice.
The wife who was beaten up as a result of domestic violence from binge drinking, didn’t have that choice.
Outing till wee hours in the morning is a choice.
Sadly, the parent, the partner, waiting for the children, the partner, worrying, had no choice.
(oh wait…they can CHOOSE to not worry…or can they really?)
Open relationship, having more than a partner is a choice.
Unluckily, the person who got cheated on didn’t have that choice.

Yet, more unfortunately, diminishing humanity, dwindling family values are also a norm.
We brush it off as if it didn’t exist, we turn a blind eye.
Even when drug abuse become more common.
Even when we see it in the newspaper every other day, some drama, one way or another, which involves a cheating partner, a mistress, a triangular relationship.
Even when we see sons and daughters sending the parents to old folks home.
Even when we see children throwing the parent out of the house. The very house the parent gave the children as a gift.

Is it a case that we do not see what we do not wish to see?
Is it a case of we deem it acceptable because everyone else is doing it too?
Is it a case of because it is a norm, it makes it right?
Or is it a case that it becomes justifiable that we do what makes us happy, even if it’s at the expense of someone else?

In the end, we would all like to be “the in and happening, the trendy, the ones “inside” the circle”
Is the question then, how much pressure before we would give in? To the norm? To fit in? To be accepted?
How much are we willing to give up, who are we willing to sacrifice, to satisfies our whims and fancies?

Yet, despite all that, I would like to believe that not all is lost.
I would like to believe that we could balance being in the norm, yet not falling out.
After all, we couldn’t live in silo thinking all is well when we could be weirdest person in office.
The question then becomes, where do we draw that delicate line to balance them all…