Phases

Love, is defined as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another, a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection.
A word that we see so often, a word that we would have heard uttered, to us, or to someone around us, every so often.
A word we read in literature, a word we see in almost every other movies, films, and dramas.
Yet, is it as easy to truly mean it, when they said it?
Yet, how many love really end up with relationships, for better or for worse, till death do them part?
How much could love sustain a relationship, especially when life throws lemons at them? Especially when they are down and out?
How many relationships could really go through the test of endurance, patience, and of course, fidelity?
How many relationships break in the process when life takes a toll on that 2 individuals?

Recently, a friend of mine got married..and another, undergoing a rough time with the partner.
I couldn’t help but ponder, what makes or breaks them..
For those whom has been following my blog (and comments) for a while, might have noticed that a while ago, a post of mine caught the eye of my friend’s dad, who subsequently commented about the stages of a relationship; Mutual attraction, Honeymoon, Adjustment and maintenance.
Lately, I came across a video, a pretty well done one, if anyone asks me..on different phases of a relationship:

It divides a relationship into even more phases..which got me thinking..again.
That, if a normal relationship could get that complicated, what does adding “distance” into the formula creates?
Yes, long-distance relationship.
The argument on long distance relationships has been on-going for as long as I know, on whether it works…or not.
A friend of mine got into a relationship, and then separated by the seas for a few years, and the next thing I know? She threw everything (including her career) away, pack her bags, and came back to be with the partner. They are now happily married.
Another, got into a relationship, yet, the physical distance also created a distance in their hearts.
What works? What doesn’t?
Is there an actual formula of what works and what doesn’t?
Then again, hasn’t one learned that relationship is about chemistry, and everything that’s one wouldn’t consider the most rational (ie. star signs, zodiacs, the stars and the moon, and feelings)
Unfortunately for the blardee-auditor-in-me, this is no simple mathematics.

Afterall, as much as there’s a saying that goes “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”, there is also another that goes “Out of sight, out of mind”

I guess, ultimately, it truly boils down to the 2 individuals, and how much both wanted to make things between them, work. As one.
If there’s one lesson I could learn from that short clip, it is that as the relationship progresses, one begins to take each other for granted.
Perhaps more importantly, when one stops trying to make things work, it would really cease to work..until it is too late to try again.

Be it a relationship, a long distance relationship, a marriage, a career or life in general.
And it is then, that one steps into another phase, for better, or for worse.

Mind over matter

Just over a while back, on one fine night, a friend asked me to join a marathon..the Energizer Night Run
My initial response? “Has my friend gone crazy? Or is this the wrong window?”
For those whom know me well enough, would know that I’m not that active a person. And running is definitely not my forte.
I can’t run. It’s as simple as that. I’ve never made it to anything on that area.
My friend though, continued to convince me to join in the run with him. “It’s gonna be in the F1 Sepang Circuit! And its a night run!”
I don’t know how, or why, but I agreed, and registered for it in the end.
Perhaps it’s because my other friend will also be joining the run.
Perhaps It’s because of the F1 Circuit.
Perhaps I know that if I don’t do it now, I’ll never get myself to do it.

Unsurprisingly, when I told my other friends about me joining a marathon, most weren’t very supportive.
In fact, the most common response I got?
“Are you sure you’d be able to make it? It’s 11km ya know, not 1km! Hahahaha”
My parents, too, had a good laugh over how I would survive the run..
Many were skeptical of me finishing the run, what more within the qualifying time..
And I don’t blame them.
Because right after I signed up, I too asked myself what in the world have I done!
It seems imminent to me that I’ve just signed up to self-torture, and make a fool out of myself..for a while, it does seem like it’s the stupidest thing to do, ever..

Yet while most laughed at the idea of me joining the run, a few supported and advised me to train for it.
And so, I started morning jog with mom every weekend, my lil weak attempt to “train”
I’ve gotta admit that there were times that I thought about giving up and just forget about it.
After all, whom am I kidding?
The timing I managed to set during the training weren’t the most motivating either.
The statistics proved so.
On the second day, I managed to get 4.2km within an hour. And that was my best record.
After that, it just dwindled..
My worst? 2.6km in an hour…
Week after week, I could see no improvements on the distance, and time.
If it was anything, it only de-motivated me more.
11km in 2 hours? Realistically, it was beyond anything I could achieve, to anyone that could do simple mathematics.

I don’t know what made me continue to do it, nonetheless.
Perhaps I just wanted to prove to those who laughed at me, wrong.
Perhaps I just wanted to see how far could I go..how far would I go..
Perhaps, I just wanted to see how much could willpower pushes the body beyond what it believes it could achieve.
Perhaps, I am hoping that from here, I could get some answers to some other questions in my head.

And so, I collected my running tee, got ready, and went for the run, regardless of whether I could finish the race, regardless of whether or not I could cover it within the qualifying time.
Rationally, and understandably, I told my car-pool friends to wait for me…cuz I could take a while to finish it..if I could finish it..

The run eventually started, and I ran…and ran…and ran…
and I could not see the end in sight…
Throughout the run, I’ve asked myself if it was worth it..

Now, I believe that it really could be a case mind over matter.
Now, I believe that sometimes, you could go further than you think..that you could go further from where you think it’s the end.
Now, I believe that it was worth it.

I finished the run. My time (timed by myself personally): 1:42:53:1

p/s: The run was badly organised though. There was no official timer, no one to tell me how much further. There were only 1 water stop in the whole circuit, and the havoc for goodies bag were…just like warzone, literally.

Choice of Words

When we were young, words are just a means of communication.
To some, they still are…As long as we can get the message through, who cares how it was conveyed?
What difference does it make?

When I was younger, I truly believed in that.
For me, personally, it was a pain learning language, for in my eyes, “I really don’t care, as long as the other party understands me”.
And I believed no one really cares if I were to get my grammar wrong…or if my vocabulary sucked big time..

Yet, I do not know since when, or how, but over time, I learn to understand…that sometimes, it really isn’t about the message conveyed.
Sometimes, it’s about our choice of words.
It’s the words we use to communicate and convey a message, that, at the end of the day, truly matters.
Choose the words wisely, and it could change your world.

Illustrated by a video I saw online: